...wish i knew how to quit you... [entries|friends|calendar] Shantel [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[01 Jul 2008|10:18am]  eric and i broke up in february ive never been happier // CMNT

[22 Sep 2007|08:27pm] you are fucking disgusting first you fuck aaron and go oh i was drunk i dont remember then last night you fuck pat? your nasty you and emily need to stay the fuck away from me an eric i swear to god ill fuck you both up you know i will thats why you wont say nothing to me i will continue to be a bitch or as she put a 'mean girl' jesus what is she 10? ohhhh my feelings are hurt she said im mean fuck you guys are nasty // CMNT

[02 Aug 2007|09:52pm] Dear Mom,         I wanted you to know that you won. You broke me down. Way down. The only solution to this problem you brought up yourself: get emancipated and move out. You telling me 'if you leave dont come back' never phased me until you put it in to those words. You have said many hurtful things to me in the past, things no child should hear from a parent and I took them. But when you put it like that I knew. Plans are in motion and although im worried as to how this will all 'go down' and things of the sort I have never felt more relieved. I wonder though when the day comes will you let me really leave? Dont tease me. Are you gonna guilt trip me the rest of my time here? Either way you cant change my mind. Is it really a big difference? I was moving out in a year anyway. The problem is you know once I leave whatever relationship we had is over and I think thats what scares you. Who are you gonna yell at when your mad at micheal or dwight? Who's gonna comfort you? Maybe im wrong and your life will be great. And oddly enough I hope so. But I wont be apart of it for a very long time.        I do wonder how it will feel to live with people who arent constantly belittling me or telling me what a mistake I was. But really I already know the answer. Its been that way in everything my whole life. School, karate, work, ballet, girl scouts etc.... It'll be akward until I see their not like you. Then im happy and am me and then their happy and think im fabulous. (i kow i sound full of my self but you know what im talking about).        I am sorry. I tried. Did you? Ask yourself if you gave a good honest effort? I did but it wasnt constant. Its not all your fault even if I blame you for mosrt of it.  Your my mom, perhaps I have all this resentment because of everything you've done to me. Mothers dont do those things to their kids. They dont break them down mentally. For the first time in my life I am truly sorry, sorry that our lives turned out this way. Its both of our faults but your my mother I trusted and believed in you after everything. Im 17 and I have the worst attitude but I did a whole hell of alot and you know it. But look at it this way maybe its better for our health. I think thats why your sick. You get stressed take it out on me and like an idiot I fuel the fire because I know mothers arent suppsoed to do that to their children. We fill each other with anxiety and I see how sick you are. Thats not a life for me. I am weak with pain and you know that. Dont worry about me. I have plenty of other people who care about my well being. I will proably be better off that you. So I guess this is it. I have a whole bunch of junk to say to you but its best to say it to your face. Take care of Grandma Parker. Im sorry I felt she was more my mother than you. Im sure she wont talk to me when she finds out im moving out. Someday I will attempt to re-establish a relationship with you and at that time I hope it will go better than the first 17 years of my life did. -Shantel // CMNT

quick update [18 Jun 2007|12:22am] [ music | iron man by ozzy ] birthday was alright i bought myself a psp =) i love it! eric got a really nice car =) im ungrounded erics leaving wensday for 2 weeks =( i love my job i dont like krystal && the feelings are mutual i love lego star wars i cant wait for lego batman im going to start taking more pictures well i have actually i just dont post them but ill start bernies girl friend seems nice and ok this summer is going to be theeee best can you say road trip? i dont like who with but itll be woth it i wanna learn guitar just to play iron man my favorite guy at work is leaving  ill post pictures from the part most defff im tanning pretty nicely umm the end? 1 Read // CMNT

[04 Apr 2007|08:44pm] I got a job =D i start monday 1 Read // CMNT

[03 Feb 2007|04:17pm] sooo yesterday i went to erics then we went to the mall walked around and harassed ppl got locked in sears lol then we went to see employee of the month it was cute; jessica simpsons part was small thank god because shes a bad actor came home around midnight my classes are ok but i swear to good this kid i think his name is anthony demor he's in my econ class and is relentless in trying to get my attention and touching me it grosses me out really bad the next 4 months and ummm 8 days need to go by sooooo fast; im so excited for this summer! // CMNT

[27 Jan 2007|08:14pm] [ music | listen to my voice its my disguise; im by your side ] Jc Penny's is having a huge sale like 75% off a bizzilion things and then a bunch of things are on sale i got a bunch of new cute clothes we spent 4 hours shopping and i loveeeedd it i might go to the art and ice festival tommorow i want eric to go but he doesnt want to so i may go by myself new classes start monday im excited cause the next 6 months are gonna fly by and i cant wait for school to end // CMNT

[24 Jan 2007|03:53pm] [ music | we'll have it good, we'll have the life we knew we would ] i finally have boots!! score one for me! i bought a new (smaller) purse!! score two!! i almost hit the same black lady twice on two separate ends of the parking lot score three. i win. health and government finals today. easiest thing everrrr. tommorow-exploring food and band friday- trig (so excited for) and art of speaking and im going to erics house after for like everrr so thats good now im gonna go clean up my room. RANT: if i choose to ignore it thats my own problem right?if we both choose to ignore things its our own problem. // CMNT

[02 Jan 2007|11:49pm] wow its been along time since ive been on here ummm december 2nd me an eric celebrated our one year we hung out on christmas and echanged gifts he gave me a ring an a matching braclet umm went up north an my grandma gave me the coolest elvis purse i got an ipod nano and lost season 2 which is amazing an internet in my room of course i got more for christmas but i dont wanna list everything ummm the end? im so glad this school year is going by so fast i need it to keep doing that because it makes it easier. i really just need the next year and a half to go by quickly so i can graduate and move out. me an eric get cars this year and i get a job! well i cant sleep so here are my new years resolutions: -wear sweatpants no more than once a week -be more money savy -completely stop eating chips and drink more water -get a job -learn to sew better -not cut my hair -get better at driving -exercise -do my hair an makeup more p.s-13 months today =D who would have thought that id have a relationship this long? and were still stark raving mad about each other yeah life is pretty much perfect <33 // CMNT

[21 Nov 2005|05:08pm] ATTENTION EVERYONE: I have the cutest news ever!most of you know how my dog is knocked up and if you dont you know now.GUESS WHEN HER BABIES ARE DUE?!?     DECEMBER 24TH!!! CHRISTMAS EVE!!!   And because kelly is my bestest friend shes the god mother hahahahaha 1 Read // CMNT

[04 Apr 2004|04:44am] Follow the Directions 1.Comment 2.Leave your name 3.Let me know what color socks your wearing 4.Wait to be added back ♥ and.hearts.semi-colon 5 Read // CMNT

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